Part 1: You let me by, I'll let you by.

A few years ago, a girlfriend of mine and I were talking about our thighs.  If you are a woman, I have no doubt that you understand this; if you are a man, maybe not.  At any rate, we were talking about the contract our thighs have with each other.  We discovered that the agreements were pretty much the same: "You let me by, I'll let you by."  Well, it would seem that the contract my thighs share is about up.

I've tried different tactics, including attempting to smooth things over by offering chocolate, as I know that both my thighs are quite partial to this little sweet.  Unfortunately, much to my surprise, I found that this particular goodie seemed to only add friction between the two parties.

I tried nice decorations, only to discover that my pants are part of a union and therefore refuse to cooperate.  They have even gone so far as to try to cut off the circulation to my feet.  Stupid pants.  Who needs 'em?  Instead, I am now sticking to my skirts.  Despite participating in a union of their own, they are actually quite happy to be providing a nice breezy experience.  However, my skirts aren't all fun and games, no sir-ee-bob.  They still go out of their way on occasion to show me that they could go on strike if they wanted to by cutting into my gut...but that's a story for a different day.

Now, when a contract is about to expire, all parties must reevaluate the terms.  I understand and support this as I want both of my thighs to be happy.  I can only hope that they will come to an arrangement, and soon, because the atmosphere is starting to feel a bit tense.  If not, we may very well have to send in the big guns - lettuce.  And let's face it, nobody wants to see that happen.

Note:  I must mention that the actual phrase of "you let me by, I'll let you by" is not my own.  My good friend Madalaine came up with that one over ten years ago and it was so funny that I remembered it.